Making Bad Kids Good

Here is an article from an Australia story teller on making the bad kids turn good. If you have a hard time in disciplining your children, probably you can get some idea from the article....


Making Bad Kids Good
By John Shield, Australia

What makes kids bad? Are some children naturally bad or does their behaviour come from the adults who have responsibility for their care? Can a bad child be made better?

I don't claim to be able to give a definitive answer to the above questions, however I worked for many years with children in the role of storyteller and have made a few observations that could be useful to those who care for children.

From time to time I was asked to present storytelling workshops for children - to teach them to be storytellers. One school from a rather depressed area had a lot of trouble with the poor communication skills of their students. If a child had a problem they would often hit first and talk later. They thought I might be able to help to build their oral-language skills and turn this around. I'm not sure how successful I was in this however I'd like to pass on a little story that gives an idea of the sort of family these kids came from.

I had devised a fantasy game. The children were to make a wish and in the game it could come true. They could wish for anything they wanted.

One six-year-old girl said, "I don't want anything."

"Oh come on Chelsea," I coaxed. "Surely there is something you want."

"I already have a Barbie doll."

"There must be something else you want Chelsea."

"Can I wish for anything?"

"Yes, anything you want."

"OK. I wish for my Daddy to come home from jail."

Somehow I kept the workshop going but I admit it wasn't easy with tears filling my eyes.

Not just self esteem

In another suburb I was approached by a neighbourhood centre. This centre offered personal-development courses and counselling. They had offered self-esteem courses for children in the past but wanted something different.

"We don't want to offer just another self-esteem course but we want whatever we do offer to build self esteem. Will your storytelling course do that?"

I explained that the way I taught storytelling was to acknowledge the skills that my students already had. I would simply get them talking in the first lesson and I would feed back to them all the good things they were doing. This usually surprises most people, children or adults. They are usually unaware of the skills they have because our society focuses more on the negative. They can see whatever I tell the other students is always true so they have to believe I'm telling them the truth too. This boosts their confidence and over the duration of the course their skills improve along with their confidence.

They liked my explanation and the course was booked. "Sometimes we get parents who come in here for counselling because they can't cope with their kids. Is it OK if we include some of their kids too?"

"Sure," I said but I didn't realize that most of my students would comprise these kids.

I realized in the first lesson that these kids were generally a pretty wild lot. I was given about ten of them. A few had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) i.e. they have very short attention spans and have trouble sitting still for very long. I realize that a teacher, with about 30 in a class, can't cope with students running wild. However, I looked at it a little differently. I believe we are individuals and our brains each have different strengths and weaknesses. Some of us learn best by listening or looking or a combination of the two but some are kinesthetic i.e. their brains function best when they are moving. I had several of these in my group.

I wanted them to use their brains but had to set boundaries. I made it clear that they were free to move around as they needed so long as they didn't disturb another student. They understood this and did their best to comply. The biggest challenge for me was a boy who had been put on a drug to calm him down. I gave the kids homework. They had to learn a story each week. This boy's mother told me he couldn't do it. I replied that I had different expectations of him. Unfortunately I was unsuccessful. The drug was too powerful. He was there physically but not mentally.

Acceptable for two hours each week

The other kids were there well and truly. They learned to tell stories, they had fun and week by week they started to think more positively about themselves.

One day when I arrived I was introduced to a university student who was doing work experience at the centre. She asked if she could sit in on my class. I agreed.

She sat quietly observing. After an hour we took a break. "How can you handle this?" she asked.

I said, "These kids are a problem to their parents and teachers. Almost every adult in their life tells them how naughty they are. I can put up with them for just two hours a week. For two hours each week I want them to believe they are OK."

The course ended and we all said goodbye. Six months later the local library opened a new branch. I was invited to tell stories for the opening celebration. The families of most of my group came along.

After the performance several people came up to chat with me. One was the mother of one of my students. "I want to thank you for what you did for Lillian," she said.

"Lillian was one of the best in the group," I answered. "She was no trouble at all."

"Well, ever since Lillian did that course with you she has been a changed person."

"I'm not sure what you mean. All I did was to point out the skills she already had."

"Since she did that course she has been much happier and more confident. I want to thank you."

I accepted her thanks but, as I said, all I had done was acknowledge the skills that the child already had. Perhaps that had never happen before.

I believe that how we treat children, and indeed adults, is of crucial importance to the person they will become. If we treat them with respect they learn to respect themselves and others. If we treat them like idiots, don't be surprised if they behave like idiots.

http://www.tzuchimalacca.com/tc_world/tcworld87/e2-2.htm

The blog of John Shield is located at : http://oznasia.blogspot.com/